Category: Fun, Funny or Weird

Top 10 ways to look busy at work

1- walk really fast when you are going anywhere as to appear something important is going to happen

2- carry a notebook with you at all times. seems like you are suppose to be somewhere taking notes. if at your desk keep it open with a pen on it

3- keep your headset on if you are in your cubicle

4- actually do work but that defeats the purpose. okay more later. any suggestions?

5- shuffle papers

6- look pissed off

7- put up a do not disturb sign when you are browsing the web

8- continually click on a pen

9- walk around with your laptop open, side note: take your laptop home and say you are WFH (working from home)

10- open up Microsoft Word and write blog entries to post later

[Via: 2:48AM, Okdork]

Information Passing in IT Companies

Programmer to Team Leader:
“We can’t do this proposed project. **CANNOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects.”

Team Leader to Project Manager:
“This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff with experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”

Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:
“This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”

1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager:
“This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”

Senior Level Manager to CEO:
“This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”

CEO to Client:
“This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”

Airliner Fakes Emergency For Soccer Game

A chartered jet carrying 289 Gambian soccer fans pretended it needed to make an emergency landing so they could watch their team compete in the FIFA Under 17 World Championships.

The plane, claiming to be low on fuel, landed Tuesday near the stadium in Peru’s northern coast city of Piura.

The Air Rum plane, which she said was chartered by Gambian President Yahya Jammeh, should have made its approach to the capital, Lima, but instead flew directly to Piura, entering Peruvian air space “without permission.”

The passengers were permitted to attend African team’s 3-1 victory over Qatar on Tuesday night, she added, but the plane remained in Piura on Wednesday while authorities determined what penalty, if any, to levy against the airline.

This is so funny and mad…
Imagine what people are ready to do for a game of soccer!

[Via: 2:48AM]
[Source: CNN]

G.W. Bush’s Bathroom Break

Bathroom break

U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005.

World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan’s vision of freedom from want, persecution and war.

This is real, and yes you read it right, it says:

I think I may need a bathroom break?
Is this possible…

Of course you can Mr. Bush, after all that’s the only way you give a shit about the world, freedom and peace; Literally.

Robot Sex Dolls

German inventor and aircraft mechanic Michael Harriman from Nuremberg claims that he has created the world’s most sophisticated robot sex doll.

The sex androids have “hearts” that beat harder during sex, breathe harder and have internal heaters to raise the body temperature – but their feet stay cold “just like in real life”.

The dolls sold under the Andy brand name are on offer for US$7,350 each for the basic model, with extra charges for adaptations like extra large breasts.

The model can also be made to move by remote control, wiggling her hips under the bedclothes and making other suggestive movements – all at the touch of a button.

The inventor says: “They are almost impossible to distinguish from the real thing, but I am still developing improvements and I will only be happy when what I have is better than the real thing.”

What do I think?
Pathetic and crazy…
Couldn’t this guy find anything more useful for humanity to invent?

[Source: Ananova]