Category: Fun, Funny or Weird

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

I’m not usually into forwards, but well sometimes you find something cool here or there in one of them. This is a funny list from a forward I got from my friend Orange today (Thanks Orange), and I thought I would share.

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

Air In A Can

Spray cans filled with oxygen have gone on sale in Japanese supermarkets – an addition to “oxygen bars” that already started springing up across the country.

The air-in-a-can, which is 95 per cent oxygen compared with 21 per cent in normal air, is for use at the first sign of yawns or sighs, indicators of a drop in bodily oxygen.

I saw this bit of news on CNN today in my lunch break, and other than thinking “what the hell are these Japanese going to come up with next?”, it also reminded me of a funny story that happened with a friend of mine in Jordan.

One day this friend of mine, who was an ex-colleague and who then went on and opened his own web design company, was contacted by a client who wanted to create a website to sell his product online. My friend had no idea what the product was yet, and he went to the client’s office to meet with him and talk about the project.

It turned out the guy was still settling down in Jordan, and hadn’t opened an office yet, and my friend ended up at the client’s house. Up to this point, everything is going on normally; my friend got to the house, was greeted by the client, and was seated as the client went off to get something.

As usual when waiting in a place we don’t know, we let our eyes and minds wander off, taking in our surroundings, and imagining how the soon-to-start conversation is going to be like, and we end up a bit disconnected from the reality around us, and that’s exactly what happened to my friend.

All of a sudden, the client appeared out of nowhere with a can in his hand, and he sprayed something on my friend’s face. My friend panicked and jumped up of his chair with a million conspiracy theories running through his head, about to hold the client and give him a good beating. The client felt the sudden rage, stepped back and told him to calm down and that this was his product, some sort of oxygen spray, called an oxygen shot, with the slogan “It’s a cold shower in a can.”

He then asked my friend if he felt refreshed; my friend didn’t feel anything, it was just like spraying a bit of water on your face, more annoying than refreshing; but not wanting to let the client down, he nodded in that non-convincing way we all know.

When he told me the story later on, I laughed like crazy, imagining how he must have felt and his reaction. Priceless…

You know you’re an Arab when…

This is one of those few forwards that are actually good. Thanks to my wife who forwarded it to me after she got it from a friend.

You know you’re an Arab when:

– Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner even if you’re in the next room.

– You arrive one or two hours late to a party and think it’s normal.

– You are standing next to the largest suitcases at the Airport.

– You talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.

– You say bye 17 times on the phone.

– Your parents still scream at the top of their lungs when making long distance calls.

– Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

– You always say “open the light” instead of “turn the light on”.

– You’ve had a shoe thrown at you by your mother.

Continue reading You know you’re an Arab when…

Man Trades Paper Clip For House

A Canadian man who set out to trade a paper clip to get a house says he is coming close to achieving his dream.

After a year of swapping items on the internet, Kyle MacDonald, 26, has been offered a year in a house in Phoenix, Arizona, rent-free.

Mr MacDonald, who lives in Montreal, initially exchanged his paper clip for a fish-shaped pen. A series of trades ensued till the latest deal to exchange the Phoenix house for a music contract.

He says that he’s going to keep trading for bigger or better things until he gets a house of his own at the end.

Man, you just have to love the internet! It’s so cool…

This reminds me of this idea I had once of putting up a website where people would donate a fixed amount of money to buy a brick for a house I would build. The website would cover the whole process with photos and all, and when it would be all done, the website would include a full list of the names of all the people who own a brick or more in the house.

[Source: BBC]

GTA Influence Puts Man In Jail

A New York man got two charges after a car chase with cops; He thought he could outrun police because he did it in the video game Grand Theft Auto.

Tyrone McMillan was taken into custody last year after leading police on a car chase when officers attempted to pull him over for a parole violation. After slamming into two cars, McMillan told police that he thought he could outrun them because he played games from Rockstar’s controversial Grand Theft Auto franchise.

McMillan, in his 30s, apparently thought that his gaming skills translated to the real world. His experience navigating the fictional streets of San Andreas and Vice City with a PlayStation 2 controller led to a 55-minute real-life car chase, part of which had his girlfriend’s 11-year-old daughter and her 10-year-old cousin in the backseat. The girls leapt from the moving car while it was turning onto a highway.

A court judge slapped him with two concurrent seven-year jail terms and 10 year parole afterwards.

This isn’t the first time Rockstar’s top-selling franchise has been part of a criminal case. Devin Moore stands trial for the slayings of three Alabama police officers, an act which prosecuting attorneys say was influenced by playing Grand Theft Auto III and Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.

It’s amazing how some people are easily influenced by video games and how they start thinking they can take what they’re doing in the game with them into real life.
I can’t deny I get some funny thoughts too sometimes, but not in the sense that I feel I can do certain things, but more like imagining how it would be if I did them.
For example, these days, influenced by playing a lot of “The Godfather“, I just imagine how it would be if I did all the stuff in the game in real life, but well, I’m fully aware that it’s just a game and that it stops when I turn off the game console.
Some people obviously don’t make that distinction…

[Source: GameSpot]

Fish Shawarma in Jordan

While doing my daily round of blogs, I came across this funny article in the Jordan Times via The Black Iris.

As sales of chicken shawerma dropped in the capital following the detection of avian flu in Ajloun, one Amman restaurant is serving fish shawerma to minimise lost profits.
Customers said it was a good alternative.

“I thought serving fish shawerma would be something rare that people would like and at the same time it would make up for the low sales of chicken shawerma,” said Suleiman, who began selling his specialty two months ago.

According to Janem, the maneger of the restaurant, a small fish shawerma sandwich is sold at JD0.60, a large one at JD0.90, and a fish shawerma platter costs JD1.5.
The prices are roughly JD0.20-0.30 more than their chicken counterparts.

“Though it is delicious, it leaves you with bad breath,” a customer said.

Creative and funny…