Canadian government demands nude pics of stripper immigrants

Canadian Immigration officials are requiring that exotic dancers looking to enter Canada submit nude photos of themselves dancing, so ensure that they aren’t nude-dancer-impersonators, sneaking into the country to do other kinds of work.

The potential dancers have to prove they can dance in the nude, immigration lawyer Mendel Green said Monday.

“They can’t be partially nude,” he said. “If they don’t have pictures in the nude, they are not going to wiggle their bottoms in Canada.”

Lol…
Now, that’s funny…

[Via Boing Boing]

Miss Plastic Surgery

The world’s first beauty pageant for women who have undergone plastic surgery is to be staged in China this November.

A spokesman for the organisers said contestants would have to produce doctor’s certificates confirming their charms were not natural.

He added that to avoid a series of bungled rush jobs participants also had to have gone under the knife no later than May 29 this year.

Now, let’s imagine this.
A group of obsessed women with oversized breasts, lips, buttocks and what more fighting over which one of them actually looks artificially better.
Should be quite interesting for an artificially intelligent audience ๐Ÿ˜›

The old man & Bush

One sunny day in 2005 an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Ave, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine looked at the man and said, “Sir, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.”

The old man said, “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr. Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him and, again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same US Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mr. Bush. I’ve told you already that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looked at the Marine and said, “Oh, I understand. I just love hearing it,”

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted, and said, “See you tomorrow, Sir.”

[Via eclecticism]

Oldest forward in my inbox

I don’t know how or why this popped through my mind.
I just thought: Go to the oldest non-personal, non-legally-dangerous forward in your email inbox, copy it and paste it in your blog.

So here it is, the oldest forward in my inbox on my laptop (I’m sure I have ones that are a lot older on my pc):

DEAR RECEIVER,

You have just received a SYRIAN virus. Since we are not so technologically
advanced in SYRIA, this is a MANUAL virus. Please delete all the files on
your hard disk yourself and send this mail to everyone you know.

Thank you very much for helping me.

FATTOUM
Hacker

> Date: 11/12/1998

lol…

And maybe, just maybe, this could start a meme.
Or maybe not.

Jay Leno on presidential campaigns

These are some hilarious comments by Jay Leno on the presidential campaigns:

“What was it 91-92 degrees today? Man, I was sweatin’ like President Bush watching ‘Fahrenheit 9/11.”

“John Kerry has picked John Edwards as his running mate. … The New York Post reported John Kerry chose Dick Gephardt. But at the last second, John Kerry decided to go with a candidate with eyebrows.”

“As you know John Edwards is a former trial lawyer. Which is a smart move considering the last election was decided in court. Kerry may need him to step in and sue or something.”

“Political strategists said they thought Kerry was going to choose an older more financially successful running mate, ya know, like he did when he picked his wife.”

“The attacks have already started. ‘John Edwards is too inexperienced to be president; he’s too flashy; he’s not up to the job.’ And those are just the things John Kerry said in the primary!”

LOL…
Jay Leno rocks…

[Source: SFGate]

Reality TV enters politics

The reality television craze is set to enter Australian politics, with the launch of a programme that encourages viewers to select candidates to run in national Senate elections.

Channel Seven on Wednesday said the programme Vote For Me would audition ordinary Australians who believed they could contribute to national affairs.

A panel of experts will select 18 candidates – three for each of Australia’s six states – before the audience is asked to use mobile phone text messages to whittle them down to one candidate per state.

The winners will receive $6800 campaign funding and receive daily airtime on Channel Seven’s Sunrise breakfast television news show.

Channel Seven said the contestants would be “serious” candidates tackling major issues.

[Source: Al Jazeera]

I can’t believe this…
I just predicted this exactly 10 days ago here. And my prediction is coming true already.

I actually think reality tv would be of more use in politics than it is in other crap by actually giving viewers a better insight into the people they vote for.
All politicians lie, but with more time in the limelight, the viewers can see if they’re good or bad liars ๐Ÿ˜›

No Sex Before Games, Please

Germany’s team doctor has advised players not to have sex shortly before Euro 2004 games and drink plenty of water instead.

Team doctor Tim Meyer says sex immediately before games should be avoided because of the physical and emotional strain involved.

“Drink, drink, drink” is what the players should do, he said.

[Source: Reuters]

Yeaaaaaahhhhh!
The only thing better than sex is a drink of water, it takes you to another level of satisfaction.
Whatever!
I’d definitely choose sex…