What is the definition of a home?
And why do we always have to have a clear answer for that which is limited by a certain place for us to build our lives around?
The concept of a home is strongly rooted in us and in so many of our major decisions. A home country, a home city, a home town, a home team, and the list goes on.
But what actually ties us to a certain place to make it our home? What defines a home country?
A home country to most is the place they were born, a place where they spent most of their lives, a set of memories and experiences, a history.
But some others have a home country they’ve never ever been to. They are born somewhere, have great memories and build lives there, but still they regard some other country as the home country they cherish so much.
So, even though being born somewhere and having lots of memories in it makes you love a place, it isn’t the essential element in making it your home country.
So what is it that ties a person to a place and makes him call it his home?
And why does a person actually need a place to call home in the first place?
The second question is easier and more logical to answer. I think a person needs to have somewhere to call home in order to have some sense of belonging, to have a place to look forward to going to, to have a place of their own that they can brag about and say wonderful things about, to have a place that they can identify themselves with.
As for what ties a person to a place and makes him call it home, I think how it’s being decided in many people’s brain is by their origin. Their parents are from that country so they are too. Full stop. It doesn’t need that much thought for most.
But why?
What happened to all the “Home is where the heart is” stuff, to personal choice and to following what’s better for a person?
Why doesn’t a person choose his home based on what he likes, what suits him better, what makes him more comfortable?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m maybe one of the proudest Tunisians alive. My home country is Tunisia, my home city is Bizerte and the list goes on and I’m proud of each thing in it and wouldn’t change it for the world.
But in reality, I’ve spent more of my life outside Tunisia than in it, and when I am in Tunisia I rarely even go to Bizerte, my supposed home city.
What I’m saying is that maybe we should not over-tie ourselves to our so-called home places. It’s great to have them and to use them as a certain source of pride and belonging, but not to over-obsess about them.
We should always be open to choose our home away from home depending on our choices.
Plus sometimes it’s necessary not to live in your home country and only visit it every once in a while to keep loving it, as sometimes living in it can be a nightmare, lol.
As a person who has travelled a lot, don’t you think that “home” is where you have lived for a worthy period of time at a particular moment?
I have lived in Saudi Arabia for almost all my life, Jordan was our home but more of a vacation retreat, and Palestine was the forbidden home.
I always considered Riyadh my home, although we were treated as “ajaneb” there. When we moved to Jordan a couple of years ago, Amman became my home, easy to accept when you see that all your extended family has been here for decades. On the other hand, my real home is, one way or another, Palestine, although I was not born there and neither were my parents. I think that particular attachement towards a country not seen is caused by loss and a need to be there for “The Qadeyeh”.
I have never really thought about this 🙂
As someone who has travelled a lot, I have taken on temporary homes, but always with the thought of having only one place I can really call home which is Tunisia therefore tying myself unnecessarily to one place.
I understand what you mean about Palestine and all. But I don’t think it’s just about the Qadiyyeh, because for example there are Algerians who are born in France and who consider Algeria to be home even if they have never ever set foot in it.
So, it’s more the issue of origin, I think.
The Qadiyyeh just helps fuel it.
This post is sort of me thinking out loud about this issue and coming to the realization that there is no need to over-tie one’s self to a certain place by calling it home.
Wonderful post MMM. A very interesting topic: home. To me I guess I’ll divide the whole thing into 3 definitions: origin, home, and residency. Origin is where you, your family and your roots come from originally regardless of where you live. Home is where you live your everyday life, a life of your own, where you dream, work, pay taxes, bills and rents :P, somewhere you want to end up in even if you leave for sometime. Residency is the place where you live temporarily for a specific reason, knowing that you wont be living there forever. Like living some years for studies, or work for example. So basically home is where you choose to live, where you feel is the perfect place for you, and where you feel most comfortable, most secure and most stable, even if the country you chose was under attack! Each of the three has its own taste, each relates to us in a certain way, each has its own place in our memory and each plays a role in our present as well as future.
Interesting. Personaly my home is the world, the planet earth. I’m a kind of utopist, I know…
I would ask the same question about religions too : is my religion and believings are my parent’s ones ?
I personally believe our parents and environment play a role in our religious background as well as our religious tendencies and choices, and although religion is somehow forced to the children in many ways, in the end of the day one believes in what one believes is the most logical, and what makes sense. So a person might simply follow others, whether convinced or not, or pretend like following others while believing in something else, or might not follow others and have no problem with announcing it. Sometimes a person might believe in his parents’ religion, but the love of change and being different makes him look for something else. And sometimes the parents give a bad example or fail to give the right answers to the many questions of the child making him believe their religion is not good enough.
And it’s so interesting to relate religion to home, because many people believe that their home is anywhere that has the same religion as theirs. And many believe their home is simply where they can practice their religion with no fear or difficulty.
MMM, you got us really interested in thinking and asking questions 🙂 loved this post 🙂
I think it’s actually even more complicated when it comes to religion.
You’re born with a home country and a base religion that are those of your parents.
But there is more pressure on the person to follow the religion than there is to belong to a country.
It’s acceptable to immigrate and go live in the opposite corner of the world, but when it comes to religion it’s out of the question to even think about converting.
Of course, this is wrong, a person should be able to think out of the box that he was born into, explore all the possibilites, follow what makes more sense to him, choose for himself and not have to live by his parent’s choices and ideas.