These past couple of days I’ve been thinking about how much control a person has over his personality and nature and how effective he can be at attempting to change them.
It takes years for someone’s personality to be built. So many factors, experiences and people are involved in the process.
Is it that easy to just stand up at one point in your life and say: No!, I want to change my personality!
Can the work of years be erased and changed in a few seconds, minutes, hours.
I think it’s impossible.
What takes time to be created, needs time to be erased and recreated.
Of course, the time needed depends on how many changes the person wants to introduce into to his personality. But what’s for sure is that it takes time.
But why would a person want to change his personality or nature in the first place?
Depends. I think there are many reasons. Some stupid and some smart.
To sum it all, I think it’s so that the person can adapt to his surroundings better.
The teenager wants to change his personality so that he can be one of the cool guys he sees around him, the nice guy wants to change because he’s being taken advantage of by the people around him, the bad guy wants to change because he feels he’s being mean and unworthy of the nice people surrounding him…etc.
I think it’s always as a way to adapt better to the conditions and surroundings.
Sort of like Darwin’s theories of evolution and natural selection.
But how does a person start?
I think that the person should start by defining what the problems he’s facing are, and what things in his personality make him vulnerable for those problems.
After that he should think of how he can stay the same person he’s proud of being while adding a new layer that deals with the reasons of his weaknesses or simply removes them.
How effective is it?
I guess it depends on how serious the person is about it and how hard he tries.
It’s not an easy task because most of what makes up your personality has become sort of a natural reflex. Controlling that and overriding it with a new reaction and getting it right is not easy.
Why am I thinking about this?
Because there are certain aspects I know I should change in my personality to make me less vulnerable to certain things, and yet I’m having a hard time changing them.
Of course, there’s all that “I am what I am” talk, and whoever doesn’t like it can go to hell!
But still, there are things that I see as weaknesses in my personality that I want to change to my profit and not because of anyone else.
“Can the work of years be erased and changed in a few seconds, minutes, hours”.
“Of course, there’s all that “I am what I am” talk, and whoever doesn’t like it can go to hell!”
Lol, I guess this proves what you said “I think it’s impossible”, and I somehow agree 😉
I think it’s possible to not necessarily do a 180 degree change, but to alter it a little. My boyfriend and I have been working on his hot-temper for well over 2 years now. When I think of how little control he had over it when we first met and how he is now, I can see improvement. It’s nothing dramatic at all, but it’s true that these things take time, and I have all the time in the world for him.
I THINK A PERSON CAN BECOME ANYONE THEY WISH TO BE. TO STAY THAT PERSON TAKES ALOT OF SELF CONTROL AND ALOT OF HARD WORK BUT MOSTLY ALOT OF PATIENCE. WILLPOWER TO BECOME THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE,DEPENDS ON THE SATTISFACTION YOU WISH TO RECIEVE, PERSONAL OR OTHERWISE.
”YOU ARE YOURSELF, SOMEONE UNIQUE”
Theres no need to change for others’ expectations change is automatic and gradual, due to change in surroundings and condition. So stay what you are but not a coward.
I understand what u said about not being able to erase years in a matter of seconds, minutes,or hours but maybe you can and I really want to know how, because if I dont i think it’ll just be the end of me.
Please write back plz plz plz tyra diamond_girl06@hotmail.co.uk xx
Hey Diamond Girl…In my opinion, first, you need to, like yourself. Write down all the good things about yourself and realize what a great person you are. When you really believe in yourself and like yourself it is easier for others to like you. It is a sort of self confidence that shows on the outside, if you like yourself on the inside. If you are selfish, try to figure out why. You would need to expand on that…like what are you selfish with???? Deal with why you are selfish and stop doing those behaviors. Example; Your parents buy you a nice calculator for school…Everyone likes it and asks to borrow it … if your normal thinking is to say…No! Instead to change that behavior you might put boundries on it and say, you can use it in Math class but give it to me during the last half of class so I can do my own work. If you share with others; they usually share with you – even if all they have to share is their friendship. Being smart is something that I don’t feel we can control. You either are or your not…but if you are not one of the smartest one’s I bet you have a lot of other talents. An example….I have a son that wasn’t real smart in school. (Come to find out later, he is a visual learner, so he just learns different) My daughter, who is younger than her brother was always real good in school. The one thing that my son had that my daughter did not have was, amazing musical ability, and he is a fantastic poet and Lyricist. Good study skills can be practiced – listen in class, take notes and that helps you remember.
If you are wanting to go to a University you should do lots of volunteer work. Talk to the guidance counselor at shcool and they will tell you the groups to get involved with. Sign up to do lots of extra-curricular activities, like yearbook, debate team, student government. Start talking to people in school…like the people around you, always say hello, and comment on things, like what a girl is wearing…”Oh that’s a cute top, or I like your shoes, etc.
Good luck! Remember practice makes perfect. Try watching the TV show “Made” on MTV. That is a really cute show, usually on kids making a change like you want to make. Check it out!!!
Have Fun!
I have been struggling with changing who I am for a year and a half now. The problem is that I have a lot of things I want to change about myself. A lot of them really big. I have tried everything from trying to change slowly , too taking a stand and stating what I want to be and trying to change it over night. I have written down all the good and bad things about myself more times then I can count. It is always on my mind. I’v even tried ignoring my will to change and just living life, but after a week or two I am back to myself. Things I were into I don’t do anymore because I feel like trying to figure my life out. I have even tried to look back at my past life to figure out why I have become the person I am. All have failed. I’m a senior next year in high school and I don’t want to go back like this. That only gives me two and a half months to put an end to this. If anyone could help me I would appreciate it so much. Thank You.
u know john, i am exactly the same situation as u, i dont wanna change for ppl, ppl can phuck themselfs, i wanna change for myself and my loved ones and after years of trying i see ive achieved something yes, but still that part of me that i dislike just does nt seam to go away, but so long as theres a soul in this cocoon, then there shall be a way out.it really is like bieng stuck in a cocoon.life clearly is a test, everyone is tested difrently by god, like there aint no 2 same fnger prints there aint no 2 same personalities and lifes experiences, best way i look at it now is that in my years of trying ive seen ppl a million times worth off than me, so my mine and urs stubborn personality should not make us disheartend.
hey man i think that u’re loving u’re life but i wanna tell you something that , if it comes to mee i still thinking that i wanna kill my self beacause all the goo dperson in my life has left me and i feel so unusless i am broke i dont have anyone to speak to mee all my freind think that i am happy in my life but the fact is i hate my miserable life and i dont think that sombody can change theire personality beacause in first place everybody have knew that preson personality :S and so he cant chage his personality please reply with u’re ideas on my e-mail adress “le-jagal@live.com” as soon you get this comment